Monday, April 15, 2013

Tax Day Relief - a discarded scene

As part of the RomCon Tax Day Relief Blog Hop I'm giving you a scene that was taken out of Secrets of a Mayan Moon.  It's a scene that after I realized the true "What if" to my story  The scene did nothing to advance the plot.

The scene is with a secondary character that I and several of my CP's decided was given too much space in the first draft.

"Stay here," Tino hissed and bolted out of Isabella's tent. The shrieks came from the shower tent. He stopped in front of it at the same time Martin arrived along with the whole camp.

"Don't just stand there! Go see what's going on!" Martin ordered.

Tino wasn't crazy about bursting into the shower tent that vibrated from female screams. Whoever it was didn't sound hurt, only scared.

"Go on." Martin gave him a shove.

Tino shoved back. Isabella arrived all dressed and nodded for him to enter the tent. Why did all these people leave this stuff to him? A guide.

He entered the tent. His gaze landed on Jaycee's scrunched up red face. Another scream vibrated the canvas walls. His gaze drifted to her naked body. This was his usual type, lean but curvaceous. Her ample breasts jiggled as she screamed. All he could think of was how well Isabella's body fit his, and how she fulfilled all his needs. He didn't harden at the sight of the naked woman in the shower stall. Isabella had stolen his desire for anyone else.

"Why are you screaming?" he shouted over her screeching.

Jaycee's eyes popped open and she stared at him with her mouth still open.

"Well, what are you screaming about that has the whole camp gathered at this tent?" Out of the corner of his eyes he caught movement. A wide, triangle-shaped tan head as large as the butt of a rifle rested on a towel hanging from the end of the pole used to hold the canvas partition between the two shower stalls. The boa constrictor's body was as big around as Tino's bicep, the tan body with dark brown diamonds draped across the partition and along the back of the other shower stall. He'd guess the creature at about thirty meters. The two bumps in the first third of his body accounted for his docile attitude. The big guy was digesting his latest meal.

"Squeeze along the other side and come here. It isn't going to hurt you," he instructed.

Jaycee shook her head vehemently and cowered in the corner of the shower.  Great. Even though his body didn't react to her nakedness, he didn't care to get any closer. The last thing he wanted was a loco naked woman clinging to him, She wasn't in danger from the snake. Maybe if the creature had ears.

Tino spun on his heel.

"Where are you going?"

The panic in her voice brought out his chivalry. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "To get help to remove the snake."

Her chest expanded as she inhaled as though about to let loose with another scream.

"Screaming only aggravates him." He tipped his head toward the snake. Her lips snapped shut and he had to chuckle. The screams made to difference to the deaf snake but it would save the rescuers' ears.

He hustled out the tent flap. Everyone started asking questions at once. Tino help up his hands to stop the assault. His gaze fell on Isabella. She smiled at him and waited.

"Jaycee's in the shower and there's a constrictor lounging on the pole between the showers. I cannot get her to come out." He didn't miss the mischievous glint in Isabella's eyes.

"I'll talk her out of there." Martin tossed the flap aside and stepped in before Tino could tell him she was naked.

Here is the blurb for the book:

What happens when a brilliant anthropologist is lured to the jungle to be used as a human sacrifice?

Child prodigy and now Doctor of Anthropology, Isabella Mumphrey, is about to lose her job at the university. In the world of publish or perish, her mentor’s request for her assistance on a dig is just the opportunity she’s been seeking. If she can decipher an ancient stone table—and she can—she’ll keep her department. She heads to Guatemala, but drug trafficking bad guys, artifact thieves, and her infatuation for her handsome guide wreak havoc on her scholarly intentions.

DEA agent Tino Kosta, is out to avenge the deaths of his family. He’s deep undercover as a jaguar tracker and sometimes jungle guide, but the appearance of a beautiful, brainy anthropologist heats his Latin blood taking him on a dangerous detour that could leave them both casualties of the jungle.

Secrets of a Mayan Moon is available at Windtree Press, Kindle, Nook  Kobo

Leave a comment here and on the other blogs in the hop and you are automatically entered to win one of twenty-five 50% off coupons to RomCon® 2013!

Here is the list of blogs in this Hop:


Anonymous said...

I hATE snakes!!! I would be screaming, too!!!

horses5 AT frontier DOT net

Paty Jager said...

LOL D'Ann. I agree it was pretty easy to make Jaycee scared.

Judith Ashley said...

My snake expertise is pretty limited, especially a jungle snake. Not only would I be screaming, unless I knew they moved fast, I'd be running - of course being naked - nope I don't think I'd pause a moment because my fear of snakes out trumps my modesty.

Loved the part where Tino says screaming irritates the snake and she snaps her mouth shut. Yep, my lips would be SEALED if I was told that.

Paty Jager said...

Judith, It was a fun scene to write but in the end, I knew it had to go.

Melissa Keir said...

I agree. My fear of being bit by a snake would outweigh my fear of anyone seeing me naked. Screaming would have been the first step! Finding a strong man to kill it would have been second!


bn100 said...

Nice scene

bn100candg at hotmail dot com

Paty Jager said...

LOL Melissa! Thanks for stopping in!

Thanks bn!

Lyn Horner said...

I sympathize with Jaycee and the snake. It just wanted a peaceful place to digest it's food. Good thing it's deaf!

Paty Jager said...

Lyn, That was my way of thinking. The snake didn't want a meal, just a nice place to rest. The idea for the scene came from my encounter with a digesting rattler.