Brain is on Overload

I attended two workshops on Saturday that were awesome. If you ever have the chance to attend a workshop by Mary Buckham, do! She is funny, has the makings of a stand up comedian, and she has great information she has pulled together from many sources.

The first workshop was the 12 Stages of Intimacy. The best part of this workshop was realizing I have been doing it right! I just need to add a little more of the emotional conflict after each stage. There were a couple of things said that struck a chord with me.

In my writing, I've always made the physical urge between the Hero and Heroine a conflict- and that's what I'm supposed to do, which was thrilling to hear. One of the things that hit home was:
When a man and woman meet and are attracted "They are driven by instincts and not the brain" which translates if there is chemistry there will be sex. Unless the woman weighs the consequences and can be stronger of mind than body. Once they get to stage 10 only and outside interruption will stop them. And a phrase that stuck with me is: "Sexual tension isn't the sex itself, it is the "wanting"".

With a romance you make conflict. The conflict has to be so real and damaging that for the two to commit to sex they have to have fought many battles with themselves to get the final reward. And then when they get the reward, something has to happen to make them question allowing it to happen.

This is pretty much what I do, but it's describing the emotional response, reliving the impact of the kiss, the caress, the love making for the reader so they feel what the character feels. That is what I need to work on.

What book have you read lately that left you sighing in the end?